Some time ago, my therapist helped me understand a desire I’ve always had: to express myself more and better.
Introverts like me tend to suffer because we can’t get our feelings, desires, and wishes out. Often, we have inner thoughts that can cause pain in our chest and throat because we want to share them with someone, but nothing comes out of our mouths.
One of my homework assignments was to start writing. Literally, to write in a journal every single day, whatever was on my mind, with no page limit.
I doubted I could do it, but within a few days I found myself writing two or three pages a day. I wondered how I was capable of that. It amazed me how much I had to say. So basically the act of writing made me realize that I was able to share things with myself (in a journal) and with others.
With this blog, my introspection still prevails. I could have a similar approach of just writing, but publishing what I write comes with the judgment of those who will read it, whereas writing in my journal would only pass through my own filter. Unfortunately, the internet has become a place of hate, and maybe people can shout any nonsense at you just because you said something they didn’t like or agree with.
This post is to share my frustration at not being more active on this blog. In reality, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, because it was never my goal to have a publishing frequency here, but I get anxious when I see people from blogs I enjoy reading make it seem so easy to express their ideas and address any topic.